Women who have been raped tell in their own words of the experience of the attack and of what followed for Rape Crisis Ireland Network book

Posted on December 7, 2009
Filed Under Eire, Legal Police, Northern Ireland, Publication, Rape and Sexual Assault, Women's Group | Comments Off

One hundred women who have been raped in this country have spoken about their experiences as part of a ground-breaking book on rape and justice in Ireland. These are first-hand accounts of why women did or did not report being raped. The details that these women have now decided to share graphically illustrate the information in the Rape Crisis Network Ireland (RCNI) national statistics, which tell us that the majority of women do not report sexual assault.

In their stories, you can hear their initial shock and disbelief, the way the women brush aside the evidence, their fear of the impact of reporting the attack on others, their fear of the attacker, their fear of not being believed, and their dread of the criminal justice system, among other things.

Each of these statements is by a woman who was raped in Ireland since 2002.

“I didn’t think there was any point, they would have gotten off without being convicted and I would have had to go through the whole thing again, over and over, describing every time what happened to me. I wanted to forget about it as soon as it happened.”

“My family was threatened by the offender and his family. I was very afraid of these people.”

“I just wanted to forget the incident and when they found out who did it, they let him go until the DPP gave their result and I was afraid he would come after me again.”

“We have a son so I didn’t want to cause problems that would affect his relationship with his father or for me, problems with friends and relatives not believing me.”

“[It] happened in the local area. I didn’t want anyone to know what happened.”

“I did not report the rape because I was too ashamed at what happened to me at my age. I didn’t think anyone would believe me and I did not want my children to find out what had happened to me.”

“We had continued a sexual relationship for a couple of years after the relationship. I felt that because people would view our relationship as being on a strictly sexual basis then the gardai wouldn’t believe that I hadn’t consented or that it wasn’t me leading him on.”

“I was sick at the thought of going to court and being cross-examined . . . It’s unfair to victims.”

It is clear from the statements given by the women that most of them knew their assailant, many even had a close relationship with him, including friends, partners or ex-partners.

Again, this is very much in keeping with the RCNI report, which shows that the perpetrators are usually known to victims, and often well known and trusted.

Some women who did report being raped to gardai talk about why they made that decision, and what helped them with it.

While some assaults leave evidence of physical violence, the majority do not.

“I wasn’t sure what to do at first, but when I told my friend about it she was very angry and upset. She said that the possibility of him doing it again if he thought he got away with it was very high and so I did it for this reason. In this, I mean doing it to other women.”

How victims are treated makes an enormous difference to their recovery and on their decision whether or not to withdraw their statement. From what victims say, we know they can have very different experiences of the gardai, both positive and negative.

“[The gardai] rang to see how I was the next day. Acted like they cared. Kept me updated about progress, but I didn’t want to talk.”

“Didn’t judge me, concerned about my welfare, made it easy to go to college. Gave support on constant basis, explained system very well. They talked to offender and his friends about harassment and it stopped.”

“They explained everything and if I ever needed to talk to anyone, I only had to pick up the phone. They also called to see how I was doing.”

“I was made to feel it wasn’t a serious sexual assault. I was phoned a few days later. [The] garda stated ‘you were seen on CCTV footage kissing this man’. I was devastated. A kiss did not encourage a sexual assault.”

“I was made to feel ashamed and dirty. Tarnished with the ’she was drinking’ label. I was made to feel that it was just ’sex’. It was a devastating blow.”

“I felt she [the interviewing garda] thought I was wasting her time and that she didn’t believe it was actually a rape because of the fact I was so out of it, I don’t remember much. I only reported it in case there were similar cases that it might help.”

“[The interviewing guard had a] lack of sympathy, no warmth, asked loads of questions, treated me like I was lying.”

“When I finally decided to report this crime, I went to the local Garda station and stood at the window inside, completely ignored by male and female guards for 20 minutes. In the end, I was so distraught I left. It astounded me that I was left there though at least five guards saw me as they walked past drinking coffee.”

“The guards made me feel worse. Were abrupt. I was upset. Didn’t want to talk to two men. I didn’t tell them about the rape — the full story. I knew they weren’t going to get him anyway. I was too upset so I told them I was attacked.”

“I wanted to speak only to a female guard, but it was as if it was slightly inconvenient. I gave my statement with the female guard but with a male guard coming in and out as he pleased. Afterwards a male guard from another branch came in and went through the whole statement again. Was annoyed at this as it seemed that it was routine to ask if I wanted a female guard and yet go ahead and have men walking in and having more input than the female guard in the end.”

“The ban garda that took my statement was supposed to return to my home to adjust my statement. Two items were to be amended. Have not seen her since. She never phoned me back to let me know about the case. She said she would.”

“When [the] accused was granted bail, they failed to let me know when they had promised me I would be the first to know. I was told by the accused’s friends who taunted me and verbally abused me in my home town. Very frightening.”

“More should be done. I was forgotten about. They don’t see this as a crime. Not helping people who need help.”

“I found the gardai/ detective who took charge of the investigation to be very evasive and I was the person who had to keep phoning to check had they found the person.”

“If I don’t keep phoning about my case, it appears as if it is gathering dust in the police station. I really feel the gardai are not interested.”

“Have heard nothing about the case for a year. Was asked to sign a release form to send clothes to Dublin. This is the last I heard. Any info I’ve got is from phoning them myself. I feel my case isn’t important to them.”

“Well, once a year we might get a phone call. . . At the start I was really angry, I didn’t understand, you know –what they were doing? Now it’s . . . you know that there’s other things, more important, that the guards have to do. I think it’s the third year . . . and nothing. Nothing. Well, the last time they were in touch was probably a year ago, a year- and-a-half ago, and that was about it.”

The women describe how even when the first contact with gardai is supportive and understanding, many of them eventually feel lost, isolated and abandoned in the system as over time they hear nothing about what is happening. The women also talk about how vulnerable they felt after the assault, and how little support they often had.

“A victim in court is treated with very little respect and . . . it was a horrible, horrific experience being up on the stand, trying to defend yourself.”

“I didn’t get any court case. I didn’t get any justice whatsoever. I didn’t get any acknowledgement of what happened to me in the justice system at all, you know. It was a lot of hard work. It was a lot of unnecessary pain and disappointment and . . . an awful lot of disappointment because I really didn’t think the system was so bad, such a letdown.”

“I didn’t feel that I was hugging my child. I had no feelings . . . feelings of . . . that nurturing, loving, mothering feeling that you have for your child. I felt like a stranger, I felt strange because I felt numb . . . I mean, I looked OK but I just felt nothing, absolutely nothing . . . I went through the whole process [of daughter's confirmation] and I laughed and I sat and I talked but I felt absolutely nothing. It was like I was dead inside.”

“I did leave college because . . . I couldn’t go in because I was worried in case people started asking me questions. I didn’t want tutors asking me where I was and then [it would] start me bursting into tears and having to run away . . . and it has affected me because anytime I go looking for a job — ‘how come you were only in college for two years, blah, blah, blah’. And you can’t say that [you were raped] to them.”

“Somebody [the DPP] makes a decision about the rest of your life and you’re not entitled to an explanation?”

“I was looking for a code book, a guide book all the time, for a long, long time, of what to expect next so I could be prepared. And no such things exists, of course, but I asked advice from the Rape Crisis Centre and I used the hotline continually which was great because you really do need people to talk to . . . and as you grow, you do get stronger, you do . . . you do recover . . . you do become stronger in yourself . . . you become far more appreciative of where you’ve been, what you’ve been through and who you’re becoming now.”

Rape and Justice in Ireland: A National Study of Survivor, Prosecutor and Court Responses to Rape makes over 26 recommendations, including additional support for victims, law reform, changes to court proceedings and improvements in the Garda response to victims. Rape and Justice in Ireland, by Conor Hanley with Dr Deirdre Healy and Stacey Scriver, is published by The Liffey Press*.

http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/you-have-to-defend-yourself-from-the-minute-that-the-rape-happens-1965625.html

* Rape and Justice in Ireland http://www.theliffeypress.com/proddetail.php?prod=74-2

Please Note: Contact details for Rape Crisis Helpline and SARCs